Reflections – Limitations in Thought and Action
by Cecelia T. Clayton, MPH
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”
– Excerpted from “Vital Lies, Simple Truths” by Daniel Goleman
Do you think you might need to go back and read that excerpt once or twice more? I did and so did a few here in the office – especially since it was 8:30 AM on a Monday morning when I gave it to them to read! You have to take care to emphasize the “that” in line 4. I have been reading this little excerpt over and over because I find its meaning so powerful. It brings to the forefront our limitations in thoughts and actions, even when we think we have none. We might think we have an open mind but…and yet, if we allow the question to limit us we will be quite the worse off.
Acknowledgment of the limits is the first step in the elimination of those very limits. When the frame through which we see the world is big and glaring and so rigid in its definition it can be easy to see. But the subtle, delicate frames accomplish the same thing in our awareness. For example, the statements “I will never…” or “I can’t see any other way to…” have obvious frames. We choose to limit ourselves in this manner. We have made a decision; we have built a frame. We have painted the picture of our limits by our words. Sometimes, though, other people in our lives have painted our frames – but we have chosen, either consciously or not, to accept them.
It is very similar to typing a command into our computers. The computer obeys. Computers have a few other keys though: function keys. These keys can backspace, delete, and there is even a function key that allows you to “undo” as many times as you need! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life was like that? What if we had a key that we could press to undo certain actions we have taken, decisions we made, paths we chose, that in the present moment we see as perhaps not the best? But if we did press that undo button, aren’t we then really failing to notice? We fail to notice how that action, decision, path, has not only shaped us, changed us, but has shaped and changed others as well. Wanting to undo is a result of our failure to notice that we were incapable of making any other decision at that time, but if we now have the ability to notice, we can go forward. Not necessarily to correct because that implies wrong, but to adjust, to paint a new frame around a new picture of awareness. The key is again to be aare of the frame. I don’t think it is possible to expand our pictures so we notice everything. Talk about major sensory overload! There are days when I am proud of myself for noticing that little idiot light on the dashboard telling me I’m running out of gas! Now, it’s not like I have a real big car – that light is right in front of my face! Yet I can get in the car, start the engine, drive, and with a start and an adrenaline rush realize that I’d better get gas if I intend to get anywhere (not to mention spare myself major embarrassment!)
Now, I just gave you a pretty concrete example of our ability (yes, ability) not to notice. Do we have idiot lights that go off in ourselves that warn us and that we fail to notice? Well, I believe we do, many of which are individual to us, based on our framework of life. For example, when I start to see six lanes in a two-lane road, there is a light in my head flashing a major warning – Hey, idiot, get off the road cause you’re tired! A more subtle one is the soreness in my body when I exert myself (barely) that says, “Better get more exercise,” or the rumbling in my stomach that says, “Yo, a little proper nourishment occasionally might be a good idea.”
Well, let’s get real subtle – how about that little bit of uneasiness, the sinking feeling when we know something isn’t quite right. It is at that point, at the very time we really ought to check out what we’re “failing to notice” that we back away. Not only do we not heed the warning but we might even make a conscious decision to fortify our frame and strengthen our barriers. Sure, that could dim the light a bit, for a while, but it seldom goes out entirely. You can be sure it is heating up something within you. The result believe it or not, can be the same as running out of gas. If your car stops you don’t go anywhere in that car. But you can use other means: you can change the mode of transport, hitch a ride, or simply decide not to go anywhere. But the light stays on because you haven’t addressed the problem.
We too can change direction, stop doing, or hitch our situation onto something or someone else, go back to familiarity or safety, but the light stays on. When we fail to notice we could find ourselves noticing we are failing – to live completely, fully, with direction and challenge, joy and happiness, security and peace. At that point we might think it would be great to undo but the supreme challenge confronting us to “do.” We need to go back to the light and turn the flame up, not down. Turn it up to illuminate the picture, use the heat to expand the frame, notice the intricate details and nurture the nature within us. Only then will we be able to release some of the limits of the range of what we think and do.
